Survival of the wettest

Summer’s heat is breathing down my neck like the fetid breath of a rabid baboon; the midday sun mercilessly strikes unprotected skin with the intensity of a blowtorch. This time of year, air conditioning is not a luxury - it’s a life support system. It’s once again summer in Mazatlán: my favorite season and a great time to get out and about. However, acclimating to the thermal abuse of a Mazatlán summer requires careful planning, a roster of essential liquids and a touch of madness.

During these months, anything involving the outdoors takes place in the cooler hours of the day. When I say cooler, I’m referring to the difference between blistering and sweltering. If you dare to venture into nature’s sauna, don’t do it in the middle of the day. Plan your activities carefully, as any more than three hours of mid-day heat can bring even Dante to his knees. The evening is the best part of the day - not because the heat and humidity have diminished, only that the thermonuclear furnace has finally dropped below the horizon.

There are several liquids essential to summer survival. At the rate body fluids flow from every pore, sucking down two gallons of water per day is not out of the question. Add to that electrolytes and a serious amount of ice cold cerveza and you’ve insured yourself against dehydration while blunting the edge of summer’s intensity.

The Pacific Ocean is also considered an essential liquid at this time of year and it costs less than beer or water. Full body immersion is recommended to help mitigate the effects of the relentless heat. Since assuagement is directly proportional to the amount of time immersed, the more ocean time, the better. Any of the beachfront palapas in Mazatlán can provide three primary summer liquids - beer, water and ocean - so use the hot days as a perfectly valid vindication to imbibe them all. Palapa-hopping might not add time to your life, but it will add life to your time.

By mid-July, tap water is too warm to produce a refreshing shower, and you can only do so many palapas in any given 24-hour period. So the next liquid to seek out is the rain; I find playing in the rain very refreshing and quite therapeutic. A summer thunderstorm will drop the temperature from oppressive to damn near tolerable within minutes and then dump a biblical amount of water. These meteorological events are a perfect way to enjoy a summer day (or night) and really cool off. I advise a sturdy ball cap, shorts and a T-shirt, along with good foot protection that can stand to get wet (if you’re of the female persuasion remember, your T-shirt will be wet). A bathing suit would be the most practical; however, cultural considerations negate this option; a good portion of the local populace frowns on scantily clad gringos frolicking in public.

Wandering the streets during intense downpours is always entertaining and the chances of drowning are minimal. The streets of Centro run like rivers with standing waves and swirling eddies, while the Golden Zone and mid-town can be transected by small lakes that snarl and stop traffic. But no matter where you are, nature’s onslaught provides hours of low-cost enjoyment. Just remember, if you’re planning to walk in the rain during a thunderstorm, don’t carry a metal handled umbrella or wear significant amounts of copper jewelry. Nature’s short circuit can fry you quicker than a house cat in a microwave.