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Some of you aren’t going to like what I’m about to write, and I’m sorry about that.
This is about restaurant etiquette – yours, not the owner’s, waiter’s or anybody else’s. It’s about good manners and being polite and considerate; basically, being a grown-up. And if you really want to be a member of the community here (or anywhere else) trust me when I say the tips below are an important part of that integration.
After 25 years of writing about restaurants, I’ve spent quite a bit of time “behind-the-scenes” with owners, chefs and cooks. I’ve worked in kitchens and waited tables, run “front of house” and grown, bought and sold produce. I’ve observed countless hours of restaurant behavior, from both sides, and I have to say…well, read on.
If you’re one of those people who pride themselves on knowing everything about everything – and aren’t open to hearing otherwise - it might be best if you just stopped reading right now.
Should / Shouldn’t. Don’t tell the owner what they “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing. Just don’t. Whether it’s what they should serve on the side, how the menu/hours/decor should be changed, or umpteen other things that you know better than they do, hold your tongue unless asked.
Show them the money. Tip as though the server is your son or daughter. Especially here in Mazatlán – where the pay per day is usually about $45 pesos (yes, $4 US for an 8-10 hour day) tips are their livelihood. And, those propinas are split with everyone working that shift: not only the waiters, bartenders and hostesses, but all the backstage folks you don’t see: cooks, dishwashers, cleaning ladies. Be generous. You can afford it. What’s normal here? Just like the US: 10% is basic, 15% good service and 20% for a meal made perfect by the waiter.
The language thing. We understand you want to practice your Spanish; that’s admirable. However, chances are your accent, pronunciation and/or vocabulary, collectively or individually, isn’t perfect. So if your server doesn’t understand what you’re asking for the first time, please, please, just say it in English. This is a restaurant, not a language school, and the majority of waiters in Mazatlán have been hired partly because they can speak and understand English – better than we do Spanish. Case in point: When you say “azucar” incorrectly, it’s often unintelligible – a mumbled sound - to a native Spanish speaker. Then, when you’re furious your limonada is too sweet, you blame it on “bad service” - instead of “bad Spanish” - which is the real problem.
Loose fingers – It used to be that publishing an opinion of a theater production, movie or restaurant was reserved for, well, professionals – or at least those judged professionals by others in the business. With the advent of the internet, though, now anyone can post anything, anywhere. Having a bad day? Grumpy as all get-out? Think your tuna sandwich / steak / Caesar salad wasn’t as perfect as it coulda/shoulda been? If you have a problem, ask to talk to the owner and politely explain what’s bothering you. Nine times out of 10 he’ll be more than happy to remedy the situation, without your having to trumpet it to the world at large.
Make it my way. Want your meal made special – different than what’s on the menu? Expect to wait a little longer and, quite possibly, for there to be a mistake. Why? Because in a busy kitchen – at lunchtime or during the dinner rush – it’s easy for a cook to forget and throw the onions/garlic/carrots in as usual, or bring you a standard basket of pan with butter instead of without. Be gracious – it won’t kill you to eat a little butter. Or, come for your meal at a less-busy time.
Patience is a virtue. Don’t like to wait for your meal? There’s a very simple solution: don’t go at busy times. Or, come back later. And one more thing: just because you have a reservation, for, let’s say 7 pm on a Saturday night, does not guarantee you quick service. Look around you – is every table full? Order something to drink and relax. Problem solved. Easy. Still can’t accept this? Wondering why the owner doesn’t plan better, have more staff, etc? Go back and read #1 again.
Groups & parties. Group of four or more? Special occasion? Call ahead. Please. And show up on time. Have a few more/less people than you said? Tell your server and be appreciative of them accommodating your bigger/smaller party.
Water. Sigh. Try to remember: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” In Mazatlán, we pay extra for purified drinking water. Everyone does, everywhere. So, you have to buy it, right? Well, so do the restaurants. And for a small business trying to make ends meet in a now very difficult economy, the extra five or 10 garafones of water every few days can really add up. Why do they bring it in a bottle? Because it’s easier, because they want to, because it feels better for them, because some picky gringos in the past complained about water-in-the-glass. The real question is, why do you have a problem with that?
Last call. It’s 10:30 pm, you finished eating an hour ago and are just hanging out with your friends swishing the last sip of a now-warm cerveza in your glass. By now, you’re on a first-name basis with your waiter and he’s laughing at all your jokes along with everyone else. Out of the corner of your eye you see them stacking chairs on the side of the dining room. Ahh, but it’s OK if you stay another 15-20 minutes, isn’t it? NOT! Leave now, please. Say good night and go home. Crawl down to the next open bar. They’ve been working for 8+ hours and have a long bus ride ahead and a family waiting. The restaurant is closed. End of story.
Dogs. Sigh. Why, why, why do you think it’s OK to bring your pet to a restaurant here, something you would never do in the US or Canada or wherever else you’re from?! It’s not cute when they sit on the chairs, not charming when they lick your plate clean, not OK when they bark and tangle themselves up with chairs/other customers/your waiter’s legs. Hard as it is to believe, not everyone likes dogs - especially your big slobbery one. If your dog can’t stay home for 45 minutes while you go eat, that’s the problem you should be dealing with, my friend – instead of trying to explain to the restaurant owner why he “should” allow dogs in his establishment. (See #1.)
Drinking. Not you, you say? Look again. There’s a good chance that, after four or five beers, “copas de vino” or cocktails, your “happy” behavior is a little out of control. Don’t think so? Are you the one talking super-loud? To everyone? In sloppy Spanglish? Err on the side of discretion and cut yourself off now, amigo. (And no, your Spanish is not better when you’ve been drinking.)
All about me. OK, so you go to the same restaurant every day during your whole four or five month stay in Mazatlán. By now, you and the owner have shared personal information and really are friends. But you know what? During the breakfast, lunch or dinner rush, with every table full of (equally demanding) customers, he doesn’t have time to chat about the weather, your latest ailment or gossip about your neighbor. Throw in one cook calling in sick and he doesn’t have a minute to spare. Really a friend? Be considerate. Remember, he’s working (hard), you’re not - he’ll come back and talk when he can.
Smoking. Yes, you’re allowed to smoke almost everywhere here, but you know what? You can still be considerate of your non-smoking neighbors downwind at the next table.
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